I follow this group on Facebook and have downloaded their brochure as follows:

If you or a loved one suffers from Alzheimer’s, Early Onset Alzheimer’s, or another Dementia related disease, if you are an advocate, or want to know more about these diseases, we invite you to join us. Memory People™ is a Facebook group founded by Rick Phelps who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease June of 2010. Rick saw the need for real time interaction for all those touched by these diseases. At Memory People™ you will find care and support in a comfortable and safe environment where patients, caregivers, and all involved come together to share our stories, support each other, and bring awareness to these diseases. First, you will need to have a Facebook account to join us. From your Facebook home page type Memory People into the search bar. Then click on Memory People, and you will be taken to our home page where you can read about our group. Then, just click on the “Join Group” button and one of our Administrators will add you. If you or a loved one have been touched by Alzheimer’s or another Dementia related disease we encourage you to join us at Memory People™.
bringing Awareness, one person at a time
Rick Phelps
Founder, Memory People
Cell 740-294-2456
phelps2645@gmail.com
Leeanne Chames
Personal Assistant to Rick Phelps
Executive Director, Memory People
leeannechames@gmail.com

In a world of advanced directives, I have written a prayer to ask God to secure my longterm care.

Dear God,

If I enter the darkness that enveloped the women in my family before me, I pray for a good caregiver. I want someone to care for me as a friend, and is empathetic to my plight.  I want someone who will get to know my life history and cherish the time we spend together.

If I am lost to who I am, I want my “friend” to tell me a story about a little girl fondly called Buffer by her daddy and who always cared deeply for the needs of her family.  I want to hear about my special dog named Pittman that loved me so much.  I want to know about my two fine sons and my faithful and handsome husband.

And Lord, sometime we can just live in the moment, when we’ll spend a happy day accomplishing the menial chores that we must do.  Grocery shopping would be an exercise in stimulating my body and my senses starting with the pretty pastries in the bakery, then the feel of firm tomatoes in the produce section and take in the lovely sights of all the other garden varieties carefully displayed.  I’d want to grind some coffee beans just for the rich scent that emanates from the machine even though I don’t drink coffee.  I’d get to push my own grocery cart and have time to investigate something of interest that catches my eye.  I could hold on to my cart while bending down to peer into the big glass doors covering the freezer sections.  When it was time to check out, I would help lift the items from the buggy on to the conveyor belt, using my bent fingers in hopes of relief from their constant ache.

My companion would protect me from the questioning eyes of those who didn’t know what a special person I am.  She would lovingly put her arm around me and tell me how much she loved me when I tried to go where I shouldn’t.  She’d draw my attention to something I couldn’t resist and I’d desire to follow her lead.  We’d move on toward the unknown together and I‘d be happy to be with someone who knew what to do.

Lord, you remember the women who cared for my mother.  Some would know just how to enter her world and go along with her as they reached their daily goals of care.  Others just did the minimum of effort and sat quietly, lost in the crossword puzzle or handheld device brought along to help pass the hours of sitting, taking the term private duty sitter literally, as they added up their weekly paycheck.

My dear grandmother never forgot who I was, even when she was confined to her bed under the watchful eyes of three shifts of women, round the clock for several years.  We had spent so much time together in her later years, that the sound of my voice and the touch of my hand on her arm brought my name to her lips. She said it as if it represented all the life and love we had shared together.  Dear God, that’s the kind of care I want to receive.   Someone who will see me how I looked in the photograph taken when I was a young, beautiful woman, full of promise, fresh and unblemished.  Not like the wrinkled, worn, volatile creature that I now may appear to be.

I want someone who wants to be with me and thinks of things we can do together that will cause us to laugh and smile. She will show me, tell me, and sing with me.  She will pray for me, include me and hold my hand. She’ll read aloud short stories and bible verses that may still be hidden in the depths of my heart.  I want to recognize something and sing that song buried beneath the noise and confusion that predominates my consciousness.

She’ll look into my eyes and try to see what I see.  Even if my words are few or gone altogether, I’ll still be here, listening for a friendly voice, one that is full of love and compassion. She’ll give me time to respond to her efforts and I’ll try to find my way to the surface.  She knows that I might be getting lost along the way, and it may take me a while to begin to understand what is happening.  She’ll know that I do best when things are done consistently; she’ll keep her sentences short so I can comprehend and she’ll give me one command at a time.  I’ll want her to stay with me.  She won’t leave because I’m here and I don’t know what to do.  She’ll know whatever she does for me, she does for you.  She’ll know you are with me and trusts you.

Please Lord, hear my prayer.  If I begin to wander away from who I was, please seek me out, and rescue me back into the flock as you have done before.  Send a faithful servant in the form of a caregiver to keep me safe until I am in your arms forever.

AMEN

“Even to your old age and gray hair, I am he.  I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you.  I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” (Isaiah 46:4 NIV).

Try these tips to prevent wandering out of the house by your loved one.

1. If there is a securely locked high fence around the whole perimeter of the property, let your loved one go outside, in good weather.  Go outside with them.
2. If there is no secure fence or there is other danger to allowing them to go outside at will, try these approaches:
   1. Remove from site triggers that would make the loved one or person with dementia think of going out, such as coats, umbrellas, shoes, purse, etc…
   2. Tell your loved one or person with dementia frequently where they are and why, in a calm tone of voice. Reassure them with words like, “XXX will return in an hour to be with you” or “Your family knows where you are”.
   3. Don’t confront or argue with the person, walk with them and redirect to another part of the house or to an activity. Use humor if possible.
   4. Purchase childproof doorknob covers, or deadbolts to put on the door above the loved one or person with dementia’s eye level, or slide bolts on the top or bottom of the door. These items will never be used when the loved one or person with dementia is alone in the home, only when someone is with them.
   5. If you don’t want to do any of the above, place warning bells above the outside doors, or activate the house alarm system, or get a monitor that goes on the loved one or person with dementia (such as a toddler monitor) or a pressure mat alarm, so at least you know when your loved one or person with dementia has left the house.
   6.  Try putting a full-length mirror on the inside face of the outside door. Sometimes people don’t recognize themselves and think someone is standing there and turn around and go back.
   7. Try putting a black throw rug in front of the outside door. To some people, it looks like a hole in the floor and that they won’t attempt to cross it.
   8. You might try to hide the outside door by putting a curtain in front of it, or maybe by making sure it is the same color as the surrounding walls, that way it may not be seen by the loved one or person with dementia.
   9. Put a big sign on the outside door saying “Stop” or “Do Not Enter” or “Danger- Do not Open”.
   10. Sew ID labels in the loved one or person with dementia’s clothes, or get a special Medic alert bracelet for the loved one or person with dementia, if they have a history of escaping the house. Also they need to have a current picture and a piece of unwashed clothes (for tracking dogs) handy to give to the police, in case the loved one or person with dementia does escape.
   11. If the loved one or person with dementia escapes while you are in the bathroom , grab your cell phone, and run out side, look around the whole block the house is on. Cover the whole block, if not found, call 911 and tell them that a person with dementia has escaped the house and is lost. Try to convince them that this person needs to be found immediately, they need their medicines badly.
   12. If the loved one or person with dementia doesn’t recognize his or her home as where they live, they may want to leave to go “Home”. They may be thinking of a home they lived in previously, such as in their childhood. Instead of telling them that this is their home, talk about the home they are thinking of. Reminiscing about it sometimes lessens their urge to leave.
   13. If they still want to go “home” tell them you will walk with them, and take a walk with them or tell them that you will drive them there, and take them out for a drive. It may help if you stop to get a treat, an ice cream cone, or snack. They probably will have forgotten about the other home by the time you get back, and may even recognize where they live now as home.

By Carole Larkin  MA, CMC, CAEd, DCP, QDCS, EICS is an expert in Alzheimer’s and related Dementias care. She has a Master’s of Applied Gerontology from the University of North Texas, is a Certified Alzheimer’s Educator, is a Dementia Care Practitioner, is a Qualified Dementia Care Specialist, and an Excellence in Care Specialist at the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, as well as a Certified Trainer/Facilitator of the groundbreaking dementia care training tool, the Virtual Dementia Tour Experience She is a Certified Geriatric Care Manager who specializes in helping families with Alzheimer’s and related dementias issues. She consults with families telephonically nationwide on problems related to the Dementias. Her company, ThirdAge Services LLC, is located in Dallas, TX, and her website is www.thirdageservices.com.

Published: Wednesday, November 07, 2012, 2:53 PM     Updated: Thursday, November 08, 2012, 5:45 AM

By Press-Register Editorial Board
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Beth Reinert with her mother.

By Beth Reinert

Guest Columnist

My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2008. Preparing for her long-term care, meeting her financial requirements and offering meaningful activities have dominated my life. In addition to caring for all of her needs, I’ve spent hours doing research on the Internet, reading books and making phone calls for just one reason: So I could provide her with the best care possible.The number of unpaid caregivers for Alzheimer’s patients in the United States totals over 10 million, yet the job is often lonely and unrecognized. Most of us aren’t prepared to take on such care of a loved one, but once the commitment is made, we have so much to learn.

While overcoming one challenge after another, I have come to realize how vital caregivers are. We are the ones who make the decisions that determine quality of life, medical care and safety. Even with help from my sister, I finally realized that a team of people is necessary to provide 24/7 care. But where do I go for help?

Finding a support group was a good place to start. The first time I sat down with families living with Alzheimer’s disease, I felt so relieved that I wanted to cry. Here were my comrades, the ones who knew what I was going through. I found good referrals, creative suggestions and listening ears from the group participants.

I also received help from the E.A. Roberts Center, from family members, from my church, from home health care, from hospice, from the staff at the assisted living facility where she lives and from the private sitters scheduled to keep her company.

I found resources through the South Alabama Regional Planning Commission and the Area Agency on Aging and became involved with them as a volunteer. They put on an annual Caregiver Conference that I attended for the first time last year. I still benefit from what I learned at the conference. Where else can you acquire facts on bladder and bowel health, hear about the latest products for incontinence and learn how to qualify for Medicaid when the time comes?

Information about these topics helped me overcome problems that seemed insurmountable at first. Now I face these issues and many others with confidence.

I’ve heard that the new optimism is solutions. Well, solutions can be found at the Caregiver Conference on November 14, 2012 at the Daphne Civic Center. It’s free to attend and they offer adult day care or in-home sitters at no cost to make it possible for you to attend. If you are a caregiver—unpaid or professional—I urge you to continue to educate yourself by attending this conference. Your job will become easier and the care you are giving will improve. You can even earn CEUs if you need them.

I want all caregivers to be able to easily access services from our local community. In my association with Area Agency on Aging, they have listened to my concerns about the needs of caregivers and dementia patients. As a result, the Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia Association Helpline was developed and is ready to be launched on November 15. By calling 251-706-4680, local information and resources for family members or clients with Alzheimer’s or dementia can be found.

As my mother’s disease progresses, I know that we will embrace what each day brings. With continued faith and asking for help when we need it, I trust my mother will continue to have the care and love that she deserves.

For those interested in attending this year’s Caregiver Conference the final day to RSVP is Tuesday, Nov. 13. You can do so by calling 251-433-6541.

Beth Reinert has a master’s degree in education and serves on the South Alabama Alzheimer’s and Dementia Coalition. She can be reached at pittman1212@comcast.net.