Caregivers Unite

Are you interested in all things pertaining to dementia?  This meeting is for you.

Check out the link here…

March 2015 ALz & DementiaCoalition Mtg

The Gulf Coast Dementia Services Support Group meets  from 11:00am to 12:00 pm every second and fourth Tuesday at the Touching Hearts Senior Care office located on 3263 Demetropolis Road, Suite 10 in Mobile, Alabama.

These support groups are designed to provide emotional, educational and social support for caregivers through regularly scheduled meetings. They help participants develop methods and skills to solve problems. The groups encourage caregivers to maintain their own personal, physical and emotional health, as well as optimally care for the person with dementia.

For more information or to RSVP, call Gina Germany at 251-445-4204.

Caregiver College is free to caregivers who want to enhance their skills and knowledge of caregiving.

To register, call 251-433-6541 or 1-800-AGE-LINE,

or e-mail Della Sanchez at dellasanchez@sarpc.org

Our new Twiddle Classic arrived in the mail today. I couldn’t wait to get to the nursing home so I could introduce it to my mother.  After getting the proper name tags heat pressed onto the purple furry fabric, I went to my mother, who had just been laid down for the afternoon.  She was propped up and awake.  I told her she had a present that had just arrived.  She seemed eager and interested.  I presented the purple pal.  She immediately  took it in her left hand and began exploring it.  Her right hand is rather useless, so she picked it up left-handed and put it to her face, held the beads, held the ball inside the “muff” and entertained herself the rest of the afternoon. We both listened to music via my smartphone and a split jack for two headsets. The easy-listening music put her at ease as she took ownership of the Twiddle.   I was so happy to be able to leave it with her.  I informed the CNA’s about her new friend and encouraged them to be sure she has it with her. This is a similar idea of the activity mat which is also well received by my mother.

Perhaps you have some similar ideas that have worked well for you.  Please share.

For more information about Twiddle products go to www.4twiddle.com or call 844-894-3353.

Finding a worthwhile activity is an endless pursuit when caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease.   The need to provide stimulation for a chair or bed bound person may be satisfied with an activity mat.  They can be purchased or made with great variety and creativity. I enjoyed sitting by my mother’s bedside today while she held onto the beads and other attachments on the activity mat as we both listened to music with our earbuds on.  We were both content and peaceful as we heard easy listening music on Pandora radio.  At one point, she gave a big sigh, while resting her head on the pillow. A nice way to spend the afternoon.

Annie Williams knows first hand what it is to be a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s disease.  She cared for her father and now wants to help you with your loved one.  She is a registered nurse with such a passion for care that she opened a therapeutic day program and residential facility called Blue Haven Adult Center.

Offering an array of activities, the staff is confident that their clients and loved ones will find Blue Haven comfortable in their home like setting. They offer a daily structured program to include group sessions focusing on the client’s daily orientation, exercise, current events, nutritional needs, health issues, medications, arts and  crafts, gardening, and family support.  Three meals are provided daily, transportation is available, respite care is provided, and even on-site laundry service is available to assist clients with their personal clothing.

Contact Annie Williams at their location:

1725 Lott Road, Eight Mile, AL by calling 251-408-3740 or email info@bluehavenadultcenter.com.

Visit their Facebook page and like it.

The caregiving years have been divided into six stages by Denise Brown and posted on her website, caregiving.com. If you are just entering the caregiving arena, the expectant caregiver stage may be a big help.

Stage 1: The Expectant Caregiver

In the near future, I may help a family member or friend.

Who are you?
You have a growing concern that, within the near future, your family member or friend will need more and more of your assistance and time. You’re concerned because of your relative’s age, past and present medical condition, and current living condition.

Your keyword: Ask
–Ask questions of your caree.
–Ask questions of health care professionals.
–Ask questions of lawyers and financial planners.
–Ask questions of your family members who may be involved in the caregiving role.

Your Challenge
To learn and understand your caree’s needs: health, financial and emotional.

Your Purpose
You expect to become a family caregiver; this is your time to prepare. You should research options, gather information, and provide the opportunity for your caree to share his or her feelings and values. This is also your time to concentrate on taking care of yourself–keeping up with family and friends, enjoying your hobbies and interests, pursuing your career goals.

As an “expectant caregiver,” what can you do?
1. Consult with a good lawyer familiar with eldercare issues.
Find out about durable powers of attorney for finances and health care as well as living wills; start the process to ensure your caree has the necessary legal papers in order. Ask the attorney: What do we need to know to be prepared for the future? What additional documents will we need? What should we keep in mind? (A durable power of attorney for finances and health care appoints an agent to make decisions on behalf of your caree when he or she is unable to. If you live in one state and your caree in another, consider having documents created for both states.)

2. Determine financial situations.
Knowing the financial status of your caree can help determine future health care choices. Determine monthly income from pensions and social security; learn about annuities, stock investments and bank accounts. Meet with financial planners to understand how to ensure investments last as long as possible.

3. Investigate community health care options.
Which home health care agencies offer quality, affordable home care? Which housing options are available–retirement communities, assisted living centers? Contact community organizations to request brochures and pamphlets.

In addition, consider your family member’s current living condition. Will your aging relative be able to reside safely in her home if she uses a wheelchair, becomes bed-bound? What changes can you make today that will prevent future barriers to providing care in her home? Or, are the necessary changes almost an impossibility? If so, what other options do you have: your home, an assisted living facility, a retirement community?

4. Determine the current health care providers.
Be familiar with physicians and learn as much as you can about medications.

5. Concentrate on the reality of the situations.
Keep a realistic view of your situation: What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the best possible outcome? Then, determine what options are available for each of these outcomes.

6. Start a journal; chronicle your feelings, your concerns and your actions.
You may be surprised at feelings of loss. Your preparation of the future allows you to see what your caree–and you–might lose. You both will experience changes in your relationship, your schedules, your amount of freedom. Write down your thoughts about the potential losses–and how you might be able to hang on to them, through minor adjustments and changes, for a little longer.

7. Take time to sort out your own issues.
It’s easy to overlook these issues when life seems easy. Caregiving, especially as it intensifies, will make life hard. And, it’s harder if you have unresolved emotional work as it relates to your caree or other family members.

If you have difficulty standing up for yourself or finding your voice, this is a good time to work with a therapist or life coach to gain confidence in your decisions and your voice.

Do you struggle with the idea of asking for help? Now is a good time to figure out why and start practicing. Knowing how and when to ask for help is a great skill, which will become a huge asset for you.

The Four Agreements, A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, a book by Don Miguel Ruiz, offers insights about our personal codes of conduct. As your caregiving journey continues, you’ll interact with family, friends and health care professionals who will drive you nuts. This book will give you the tools so you can stay sane.

8. Find your best shape–physically and financially.
Find a work-out routine you like. Maximize the amount of healthy foods you eat. Pay off your debts. Save as much as you can. Uncomfortable managing money? Read books and take classes (online and in your community) to become comfortable. You’ll need to be at your best—physically, emotionally and financially.

9. Learn your caree’s life story.
Document the story in a journal, video or audio recording. Collect recipes, photos, letters, poems and records that reflect your caree’s life and achievements. Ask questions about your caree’s childhood, parents, siblings and first loves. Involve other family members, including children, in the discussions.

10. Begin each day with the knowledge that you have love.
Perhaps the toughest battles in caregiving begin within. Most battles really are about whether or not you are loved—by your caree, by other family members, by friends, by your significant other. End the battle now: Know you have the love. Know it now so you can remind yourself later.

11. An apple a day…
What can you do on a regular basis to keep yourself healthy? Be good to yourself—you are too important today (and tomorrow and every day after that) to let your own health slip. In other words, what’s your apple?

I overheard someone say that the most memorable thing about Christmas this year was some good pizza they had eaten. “Pizza,” I questioned? “Pretty much,” was the response.

I considered what the most memorable thing about my Christmas experience had been. I thought about our visit to my son’s house in Mississippi, where his wife and her mother prepared a traditional German Christmas Eve dinner for us. I thought about their beautifully decorated tree, heavy laden with gifts for everyone. I thought about their resort-like neighborhood and our relaxing walk on the golf course behind their spacious home.

Then I remembered what happened while we were in the kitchen cleaning up after Christmas dinner. My daughter-in-law asked her mom to pack up some leftover food to take over to the neighbor’s house. The conversation that followed was explaining that the next-door neighbor was out of town. They usually kept an eye out for their elderly neighbors across the street. Although she had never met them, she had promised to take over that watch while they were out of town. However, she was uncertain what to say when she arrived at their door, carrying food, so she asked if we would go over with her.

Grabbing my coat, I joined the entourage, as we carried over lasagna, bread, cake, and cookies.   We approached the house, looked in the backyard where a lawn mover had been left out, and decided to knock on the front door.

After a few seconds of considering what we would say, a tall, older man who was obviously sweating about his neck and face opened the door. He explained that he had just taken a short break from mowing the lawn. He invited us in after he heard that we were bearing food for a Christmas meal.

We filed into the front sitting room, where his wife was seated in a recliner, wearing oxygen tubes in her nose, and surrounded by reading materials. She gladly received the meal we were carrying, as she said that they didn’t have any food prepared for the day. Not that they were impoverished by the looks of things; the nice new television was playing, there were current books on the coffee table, a pretty heart necklace hung around her neck. It was more about the logistics of preparing a meal. “Driving to the store with the oxygen was a challenge as they had just gotten the portable tank, and it only kept a charge for a short time,” she explained.

After the initial introductions, my son, his wife, and her mother engaged the man in conversation about military service as he was wearing a Korean War t-shirt that he had just received as a Christmas present. I kneeled down in from of the lady, who seemed self-conscious about the oxygen tubes, and tried to put her at ease. She explained that she had fallen five months ago, broken her hip and spent months in rehab only to return home and fall again by tripping on her oxygen tubes and went back to rehab with a fractured neck. She had lost 100 pounds through it all and was limited in her movements by the length of tubing. She told me it was rough on her husband as he was terrified of using the microwave. He had his roles and she had hers. They were both concerned as to who would die first, leaving the other with all the roles to perform. I asked about their children.

She went on to tell me about them and who was the executor of their estate. She regretted not having a plan in place sooner, but they were now trying to downsize their belongings in anticipation of making a move to assisted living, closer to their son who was making the arrangements.

I told her I was the one who did that for my mom and what a privilege it was for me to be able to provide for her care. I encouraged her to enjoy her son’s help as it was an act of love.   She agreed that it was indeed an act of love. I told her that the “best was yet to come.” She gasped and said, “That saying is written on a sundial in our garden and we often say that.” I smiled and patted her hand, praying God’s blessing on their future plans. I could have stayed with her for a long time. However, we decided we had stayed long enough, but guaranteed any further assistance was just across the street. With smiles and hugs, we parted, feeling the spirit of Christmas embody our new friendship. It was the highlight of the day. As we walked away, we talked about how nice that encounter had been and considered when the next visit might be. I was proud of my daughter-in-law and pleased that she had given us all such a nice gift – a wonderful Christmas memory.

Care Patrol offers you peace of mind when you have to make difficult decisions. They work with a complete team of professionals so they can refer your family and make some of your challenges a little easier.  From ElderLaw attorneys to hospices, they can connect you to the right people at the right time.

Their Nationally Certified Senior Care Advisor will first evaluate your loved one’s needs, financial ability and location preference and “match” them with communities that will meet or exceed your expectations. They accompany you on a tour of their recommended care options for you so you can visit and compare each community to make the best choice for your loved one.  They are with you every step of the way to provide local expert counsel, guidance, and reassurance.

This is a free community service.

Call Wendy Harris at (251)895-2828 to get started or go to www.CarePatrol.com.

    The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.  John 1:14

For many of us, Christmas is a bittersweet time of the year.  We often experience sorrow and sadness as we remember both persons and relationships that are now changed or gone.  These December days may bring the “Holiday blues” to our hearts and homes.

If so, we hope you will join the people of Dauphin Way United Methodist Church for a time of worship, reflection, and prayer on one of “the longest nights” of the year.  Join us Sunday, December 21, at 5:30 PM, in Adkins Chapel.  Nursery is provided.

www.dauphinwayumc.org