Today I determined to build a bridge. Momma is now in the bed when I visit which makes it difficult to get into her field of vision. Leaning over the rails becomes tiresome and hard on the back. Although I play music for her and give her a drink, we do very little real connecting. We are at the place where Validation Therapist Naomi Fell interacted with Gladys in their viral videoed encounter. Inspired by her teaching, I decided to give it a try.

I let the rail down on her left side and got in bed with her. I began to sing to her. Momma’s eyes are generally half-mast, one open more than the other. I stroked her cheeks as Naomi had done, as a mother would do with an infant. Momma closed both her eyes in response and seemed to be enjoying the moment. I continued to sing until I had exhausted everything that came to mind. Then I said the Lord’s Prayer. By now, both her eyes are completely open and it seemed on occasion she is almost moving her mouth to speak. Since the bookcase is within easy reach of the bed, I got my folder with poems, songs, and sayings. I read everything to her – even some speech therapy familiar sayings. Then I recited Mother Goose rhymes to her. I had her complete attention.

I got the photo album that is her life story and showed her pictures of her growing up and her sisters. We moved to her later life, her children, etc. I showed her a large framed photo of the antebellum gown she skillfully made for me, pictures of my children and recent ones of her. Her eyes followed my movements.

I talked to her about what I was making for dinner. I told her the kind of birthday cake I was making for her as her birthday is in six days. She watched me as I adjusted the bed rail and moved to the other side of the bed to put on my coat and scarf.

Before I left, I said, “I love you, Momma,” and leaned in to kiss her check. She turned her head and made a face of refusal like a child would with an older adoring relative. I laughed and said, “What a face.” She turned back and looked at me as if to say, “you know we don’t do that in our family.” Which is so true. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was so her.

A bridge was built today.

On March 12, 2015 at 10:00am, E.A. Roberts Alzheimer’s Center will host their monthly Educational Dementia Support Group.  CarePatrol will be presenting the topic, “Finding The Right Place For Your Loved One.”  Wendy Harris and Rebecca Dacovich will be speaking about their service of offering free community resources for nursing homes and assist living facilities.

E. A. Roberts Alzheimer’s Center is located on 169 Mobile Infirmary Blvd, Mobile, AL  36607

Complimentary care will be provided during the meeting.  Please call 435-6950 for more information.

Our new Twiddle Classic arrived in the mail today. I couldn’t wait to get to the nursing home so I could introduce it to my mother.  After getting the proper name tags heat pressed onto the purple furry fabric, I went to my mother, who had just been laid down for the afternoon.  She was propped up and awake.  I told her she had a present that had just arrived.  She seemed eager and interested.  I presented the purple pal.  She immediately  took it in her left hand and began exploring it.  Her right hand is rather useless, so she picked it up left-handed and put it to her face, held the beads, held the ball inside the “muff” and entertained herself the rest of the afternoon. We both listened to music via my smartphone and a split jack for two headsets. The easy-listening music put her at ease as she took ownership of the Twiddle.   I was so happy to be able to leave it with her.  I informed the CNA’s about her new friend and encouraged them to be sure she has it with her. This is a similar idea of the activity mat which is also well received by my mother.

Perhaps you have some similar ideas that have worked well for you.  Please share.

For more information about Twiddle products go to www.4twiddle.com or call 844-894-3353.

Finding a worthwhile activity is an endless pursuit when caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease.   The need to provide stimulation for a chair or bed bound person may be satisfied with an activity mat.  They can be purchased or made with great variety and creativity. I enjoyed sitting by my mother’s bedside today while she held onto the beads and other attachments on the activity mat as we both listened to music with our earbuds on.  We were both content and peaceful as we heard easy listening music on Pandora radio.  At one point, she gave a big sigh, while resting her head on the pillow. A nice way to spend the afternoon.

    The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.  John 1:14

For many of us, Christmas is a bittersweet time of the year.  We often experience sorrow and sadness as we remember both persons and relationships that are now changed or gone.  These December days may bring the “Holiday blues” to our hearts and homes.

If so, we hope you will join the people of Dauphin Way United Methodist Church for a time of worship, reflection, and prayer on one of “the longest nights” of the year.  Join us Sunday, December 21, at 5:30 PM, in Adkins Chapel.  Nursery is provided.

www.dauphinwayumc.org

It never gets any easier to walk away from my mother after a visit at the nursing home. Today was no different, although it is Friday, which means I won’t be back until Monday. I take the weekends off, confident that my sister will fill the void of the two afternoons while I have the luxury of staying home.

We visited the big activity room today, after the scheduled events had waned. Momma’s friend, Bobbie from her old neighborhood, spotted us from across the room and raised her hand in a wave to come to her. She had participated in the Thanksgiving themed plan of receiving cards from schoolchildren and drinking hot apple cider. The cups and napkins still sat on the table in front of her.

I pushed Momma’s wheelchair over to her and she greeted Momma, saying hello and waited for a response. Having been a nurse, she understood that Momma probably wouldn’t say any words but she still gave her the opportunity. I sat down in a chair and pulled Momma in close to Bobbie. Bobbie told me she wanted to go home. She was going to call a taxi and have them take her home.” If there was only someone there who could pay”…she broke off as tears overwhelmed her words. She thoughtfully reviewed all that was left of her family– and she named her children, leaving out her deceased husband’s name. I held her hand as she felt the wave of emotion take her to a sorrowful place. I sat there, feeling the sadness of time gone by, as I considered what I might say next, hoping I would be sensitive to her feelings. I handed her a tissue from Momma’s stash and she dabbed her face dry.

I asked her what she missed about her home. “Everything,” she declared. “Yard work?” I asked. “Yes!” she said. “Cleaning house?” “Especially cleaning house,” she emphasized. I asked her who cooked Thanksgiving dinner. “I did!” We then reviewed what her favorite menu was. “Turkey and dressing”, was her quick response. Ambrosia salad (we discussed what was actually in ambrosia salad and decided it was pretty tasty), potato salad, little green peas (a nearby resident added it had to be the tiny peas) and Bobbie agreed. Would there be gravy for the turkey and dressing? “Absolutely.”  What about dessert? “Oh, well, this year it will depend on what Morrison’s has to offer” (a nearby cafeteria). She knew for a fact that they would have sweet potato pie-her favorite.

I pulled out a satsuma from my purse, as all this talk of food was making me hungry. I offered one to her. The activity person saw me giving her food and announced that maybe she could have it, but she thought she required a soft diet. What did she have on that breakfast outing recently, she mused, loud enough for the entire room to consider with her. “Oh yeah, she ate cereal, it’s okay, I guess she can have it.” Bobbie looked at me and said, “I guess I can have it.”

I gave it to her and she put the fragrant citrus orb to her nose. She commented that she thought that she had a satsuma tree in her yard. I agreed that I thought she did. I took out another one from my purse and peeled it into a napkin. I fed one section to Momma, then a section to me. Bobbie commented that she liked that I fed Momma. We continued eating until it was all gone. Remarkably, Momma used the tissue I had placed in her hand to wipe her own nose. She was making an effort as we were in the company of someone who knew her from a previous place. Bobbie peeled her satsuma and shared it with a resident who came over, wanting a piece.

Then she took a section and reached over and offered it to Momma’s mouth like I had. I pulled Momma closer to Bobbie. Momma took it. After Momma had eaten it, Bobbie offered her the last piece. Momma ate it, too. Bobbie smiled with satisfaction and placed the orange peel into the napkin in my lap.  I saw that Bobbie enjoyed the act of giving and caring as much as I had enjoyed seeing her seize the opportunity.

It was getting close to four o’clock so we decided to go on back to the room. We left Bobbie sitting alone, since all the other residents had been delivered to their rooms, so the janitor could fold up the tables and clean the floor.

I felt her sadness again as she watched us walk away. Much like that same sadness I feel, knowing things will never be the way they used to be, as I leave my mother in her room, alone, uncertain, and vulnerable to the folks I entrust for her care.

The documentary, “I’ll Be Me” hit home many times as the tears welled up from the deep places I’ve hidden my grief. I could see or hear others in the almost filled auditorium that were experiencing similar feelings. Watching the story of Glen Campbell’s final tour as his dementia progressed was bittersweet. His life’s musical achievements are such a dominant thread in his life that those creative elements remain strong even as words and memories become distant. His ability to sing, read, and play the guitar gave me hope for continued sharing and connecting with the many I know with AD. Mr. Campbell said, “I’m still here but yet I’m gone.” His daughter, Ashley, says in the documentary, “Daddy, don’t you worry, I’ll do the remembering.” Mr. Campbell is fortunate to have close family relationships that know his story so well and can tap into that creative place to draw out communication as his dementia progresses.

Likewise, the artist, Hilgos, is featured in a collection of stories entitled, “I Remember Better When I Paint,” which tells the remarkable uncovering of her intact ability to paint and communicate through her art even after she was deemed “void and with no mind” by nursing home staff and doctors. This effort, inspired by her daughter who responded to her mother’s remark, “I remember better when I paint” hired an art student to prompt this retired artist to once again pick up a brush.

Although this positive response took several months of consistent presence on the part of the student, once the breakthrough came, the communication began. Following 91-year old Hilda’s lead, a memorable relationship developed that changed the course of both their lives. Hilda Gorenstein (Hilgos) returned to creating more works of art to be displayed and appreciated. Although Mrs. Gorenstein is now gone, that young art student, Jenny Graf Sheppard, continues to speak about and research the value of the arts with Alzheimer patients.

Dr. Gene Cohen writes “All of us have certain skills or interests that we have more highly developed than others- usually an area where we have, in some manner, been creatively engaged. The challenge is to help affected individuals find those areas and have an opportunity to tap them. The result is a quality of life that is increased by the satisfaction of being able to use that residual capacity.”1

Indeed, that is the challenge. Not all folks have the obvious talent that Glen Campbell has with his music and Hilgos had with her paintings. It is the mystery to be solved. Often, the duty is left to activity directors or private sitters who have little knowledge of the history of that individual. I am faced with that challenge on a daily basis with my mother and others whom I see whose mysteries remains unsolved.

I hope that Mr. Campbell’s caregivers sing to him those familiar songs that are hidden where memories never die – in that creative place that brings joy and beauty to those who see and hear. I am reminded what is written in Isaiah 61:3-4 “To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified. KJV”.

When the creative is tapped, life is brought forth. Instead of the blank, “nothing is there” diagnosis, beauty is uncovered and rises from the ashes. Joy comes from that discovery, however brief, and thanks are given for the moment shared.

May we become more sensitive to the remaining qualities of those living with AD, recognize what they are and be sure to tap into that wellspring of life that remains.

Creating awareness of Alzheimer’s disease and offering emotional support is a goal of the Volunteers of America and of the Mobile Museum of Art “Keepsake” Program. Both recognize the growing need in our community and the coming tsunami of diagnosed cases that we are not prepared for.

To learn more about the Campbell’s effort to create awareness, go to glencampbellmovie.com.

To learn more about Hilda’s Gorenstein’s story, go to www.hilgos.org

1Cohen, Gene D. M.D., Ph.D. (2011). Creativity and Art in Promoting Health and Coping with Alzheimer’s in I Remember Better When I Paint, Berna G. Huebner, Editor.

JOIN US FOR THIS FREE – 

‘MUST ATTEND’ TRAINING WORKSHOP 

Learn about Prescription Drug Coverage,

Medicare Advantage Plans, Medicare Cost Saving Programs, Social Security Benefits, and other major benefit changes for the

2015 year.

FEATURING: 

 SHIP (State Health Insurance Assistance Program)

 Social Security

 Medicaid

 Medicare Health Plans

 Veterans Affairs

 SenioRx

200 PERSON LIMITED SPACE. 

CALL NOW. 

Deadline is September 29, 2014

RSVP @ (251) 433-6541 

Ms. Lorraine Denson

FREE LUNCH

FREE CEUS (nurse & social workers)

Sponsored by:  South Alabama Regional Planning Commission

VIA! Senior Center 

1717 Dauphin Street

Mobile, Alabama

THE  AREA AGENCY ON AGING PRESENTS :

Caregiver College 

Enhance your skills and knowledge of caring for 

a loved one during this FREE day course. 

8:30 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. Thursday, October 23, 2014 

Dementia 101 

Learn the basics on the most common forms of dementia. Find out what to expect during different stages of the disease. Learn what caregivers can do at different stages to cope with daily challenges; including communication and safety.

Coping as Caregiver— Check Mate! Taking Time for Yourself 

Learn skills for coping with caregiver stress. Get tips and ideas for keeping your-self well while caring for a family member or loved one.

SHIP Talk -The State Health Insurance Assistance Program 

Discussion to provide impartial counseling and information and are committed to help you make informed choices for yourself regarding your insurance benefits. SHIP can help you understand your Medicare benefits; determine which Medicare Prescription Drug Plan best fits your needs.

Legal Ease 

Meet with an experienced elder law attorney from the Davis & Neal law offices, and learn about medical and financial powers of attorney, long-range legal plans and other age-related topics.

POARCH CREEK INDIANS S.A.I.L CENTER 

5811 JACK SPRINGS ROAD, ATMORE, AL 36502 

To register for the free course, contact Sandra Day at 251-368-9136 , ext. 2315

Or email sday@pci-nsn.gov . Registration Closes October 20th Space is limited

Lunch will be provided.

APPLYING FOR CEU’S FOR NURSES & SOCIAL WORKERS

         GLEN CAMPBELL…I’LL BE ME

Volunteers of America Southeast along with sponsors Mercy Medical and Providence Health System is proud to present a private advance screening of the award-winning documentary, Glen Campbell…I’ll Be Me.

The documentary is a powerful portrait of the life and musical legacy of the great American musical icon known for hits including Rhinestone Cowboy, Wichita Lineman, and Gentle on My Mind. After being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, Campbell and his wife, Kim, went public with the diagnosis and announced his goodbye tour. Glen Campbell…I’ll Be Me documents Glen and his family’s attempt to navigate the wildly unpredictable nature of the progressing disease using love, laughter, and music as their medicine of choice. The film also features those who know and love Glen, including Bruce Springsteen, Bill Clinton, The Edge, Paul McCartney, Jay Leno, Vince Gill,

Jimmy Webb, Blake Shelton, Sheryl Crow, Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, Steve Martin, Chad Smith and Taylor Swift, among many others. Rare vintage footage and extraordinary new performances of Campbell’s most beloved hits immerse this moving cinematic account in the overwhelming talent of this humble family man.

Thursday, October 2, 2014
6:45pm – Glen Campbell…I’ll Be Me

St. Luke’s High School Auditorium

1400 University Boulevard South

Mobile, AL 36609

For FREE tickets visit www.mobilemovie.eventbrite.com

Or call 251-338-1294

Volunteers of America Southeast is working with the producers of the new documentary film Glen Campbell…I’ll Be Me to raise national awareness of the challenges facing Alzheimer’s patients and their caregivers, and those who have the emotionally and physically challenging job of caring for them. In partnership with Mercy Medical and Providence Health System, Volunteers of America Southeast is proud to offer this advance screening to our community.