I have just placed my mom into a skilled care facility.\u00a0 The transition is difficult for us both.\u00a0 Educating the staff on what works best with my mom is a delicate dance between what they do and what we expect.\u00a0 We are still making adjustments but for all you folks doing a similar thing, here is a letter I’ve composed to help communicate our position.\u00a0 Maybe it will help you, too.<\/p>\n
Dear Caregiver,<\/p>\n
Have I told you how important you are to us lately?\u00a0 Along this journey with my mother and Alzheimer\u2019s disease, you play a very important role.\u00a0 You have the power to guide the outcome of her day by your sensitivity, creativity and kind nature. What helps my mother helps me.\u00a0 And when Momma\u2019s happy, everybody is happy.<\/p>\n
Forgive me if I ever question the way you are caring for my mother.\u00a0 You see, I am responsible for her welfare.\u00a0 Before I chose you to help, I was providing her care.\u00a0 Through trial and error, I figured out what methods worked best to achieve a pleasant day while accomplishing the activities of daily living.\u00a0 When I could no longer handle the high demands of providing care alone, I turned to you for assistance.\u00a0 However, I have the experiences that you could benefit from to help you do your job.<\/p>\n
I have the privilege of knowing my mother very well.\u00a0 I know her history, her preferences, and her personality.\u00a0 I know how she might have responded to your personality when she was well.\u00a0 Now that she has dementia and can\u2019t use words to convey her wishes, we both need to take the time to listen to her nonverbal cues. Then we will best know how to approach and achieve what we are here to do.<\/p>\n
We are both here, communicating with each other for one purpose\u2015to care for my mom.\u00a0 For me, this is a daunting task that I take very seriously.\u00a0 I often feel helpless and afraid that I\u2019m not doing everything I should to care for her.\u00a0 At times, I have chosen to look the other way when things seem amiss because I don\u2019t want to become estranged from you.\u00a0 I need you.\u00a0 I have learned a lot from you and value your input.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t do this without you!<\/p>\n
I need to trust your care for my loved one.\u00a0 I know this isn\u2019t an easy job for either of us.\u00a0 I have added you to my team in hopes of working together.\u00a0 Your interaction with my mother is of major importance to her quality of life.\u00a0 If you\u2019re having difficulty, let\u2019s put our heads together to come up with a solution.\u00a0 And when we do communicate, please pass that information on to the next caregiver so our solution and awareness won\u2019t be lost.<\/p>\n
In this information age, there are solutions to our challenges with a click of a mouse, a visit to the library, or time spent watching a DVD.\u00a0 I encourage you to continue to take the time to educate yourself on all aspects of your job.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t be offended if I offer a suggestion when I think I know a better way.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll welcome any suggestions from you.\u00a0\u00a0 I want to keep the conversation going.\u00a0 I am for you, not against you.\u00a0 I want us to succeed.<\/p>\n
I believe I speak for all the families who rely on someone else to care for their loved ones.\u00a0 Our peace of mind and the quality of someone\u2019s life depend on it.<\/p>\n
Thank you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have just placed my mom into a skilled care facility.\u00a0 The transition is difficult for us both.\u00a0 Educating the staff on what works best with my mom is a delicate dance between what they do and what we expect.\u00a0 We are still making adjustments but for all you folks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,5,15,23],"tags":[38,57,72,97,182,214,268],"class_list":["post-450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-activities-of-daily-living","category-author-publication","category-local-resource","category-private-duty-sitters","tag-aging-issues","tag-alzheimer-disease-assistance","tag-alzheimers-disease-information","tag-caregiver-support","tag-letter-to-caregivers","tag-nursing-home-conflict","tag-tips-for-caregivers"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4cxZR-7g","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.caregiversunite.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/450","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.caregiversunite.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.caregiversunite.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.caregiversunite.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.caregiversunite.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=450"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.caregiversunite.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/450\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.caregiversunite.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=450"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.caregiversunite.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=450"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.caregiversunite.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=450"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}