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As my mother’s abilities have declined, I’ve become creative in solving the daily challenges of personal hygiene.  Standing in front of the bathroom sink to brush her teeth became very difficult as my mother’s stamina weakened.  The day I had her sit in her recliner to carry out the task was a relief to us both.  I have a small table that I can place all the implements I need close by.  I lay a towel over my mother’s chest to keep her dry.  I begin the process by first using a brush pick to

Tools used to brush teeth

clean out the excess food stuck between her teeth or pocketed in her jaw. I wipe what I dig out on a paper towel.    I then put toothpaste on a soft bristle child size toothbrush.  All the while, I compliment my mom on what a good job she’s doing, that her dentist would be proud, and what we are doing next.  On most days, she will open her mouth willingly and allow me to gently brush. Next, I give her a small cup of water to swish around in her mouth, then hold up a small bowl for her to spit the contents of her mouth into.  Sometimes I have to show what I want her to do – swishing the water in my mouth and spitting it into the bowl.  I inspect our progress, then may need to use the brushpick again or brush again, and rinse.  Once satisfied that we have thoroughly cleaned everything, I give her a capful of mouthwash.  I remind her not to swallow the mouthwash but show the swishing motion with my mouth and have the bowl close by to empty her mouth.  I wipe her mouth off with the towel on her chest, then finish by applying some chapstick to moisten her lips.  She will agree that she feels better now.

If she is not willing to open her mouth at the beginning of the process, I usually move on to her hands, wiping her hands with a damp towel, cleaning her fingernails with the tool attachment to her fingernail clippers, and applying lotion to her arms and hands.  This will distract and relax her and she will usually agree to open her mouth.  Most times, I follow the teeth cleaning with the hand washing.  I also play easy listening music while we do both activities.

What once was a problematic situation such as bad breath, food stuck in her front teeth and agitation in trying to remedy that has turned into a daily intimate ritual that is satisfying to us both.